8 Helpful Self-Help Books
8 self-help books; Amazon links to the books; their benefits and structure; how they can help to organizing your thoughts; holding yourself accountable
Do you think that organization only applies to items and things? I’m here to tell and show you that it does not. In fact, it can apply to so much more. I’ll demonstrate that being organized can apply to your thoughts, feelings and dreams.
In the past few years, I’ve learned that dedicating some time to yourself is more important than you think. As far as how often you take that time all depends on your needs. You may be the kind of person that needs time alone on a weekly basis, bi-weekly basis or possibly daily (even if it’s just 15 minutes).
To determine that frequency, you will have to go through a season of trial and errors. Here is a list of self-help books that could possibly help you determine what your needs are as an individual.
Definition
The definition of “organized” according to bing.com:
arranged in a systematic way, especially on a large scale; having one’s affairs in order so as to deal with them efficiently.
With a broad yet specific definition like this, you can now understand how organization can be applied to everything, even to something as abstract as your mind.
It’s important to understand that time alone for yourself needs to be energizing and beneficial. That being said, quality is better than quantity. You should not plan to take some alone time and keep yourself so busy that you are more tired than you were before. Mentally (and physically) that will drain you on many levels.
My two cents
I’m no expert on the subject of alone time and I certainly don’t claim to be. I did think it was important for me to share some self-help books that I’ve read that may be of interest to you to read (maybe in your alone time). I find that reading is not only relaxing, but that it can be very beneficial for your mind (if you are open to it).
Self-Help Books
The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz
This book was given to me as a gift by my manager from my previous job. I dealt with many kinds of personalities and had to adapt to each one to better understand the best way to explain a process. My manager believed that this book could benefit someone in my position.
I tried to read it not too long after receiving it and I just couldn’t get into it. The first chapter,which was a a type of preface, seemed complicated to understand… I kept thinking to myself, if this is a preview of what the book will be like, I’m in for a challenging read… I stopped reading it and figured I was probably not in the right mindset to read it and so that’s why it seemed to complicated.
I picked up the book months later. Why? For an unknown reason, the book came to mind one evening. After thinking about it, I went downstairs in our library to grab it. I started reading it and could not stop myself. It felt like it was exactly what I needed at that time.
Its title represents the structure of the book very well. Because of that, it makes it easy to understand the content of each agreement.
- Be Impeccable With Your Word
- Don’t Take Anything Personally
- Don’t Make Assumptions
- Always Do Your Best
If these statements speak to you, I strongly suggest this self-help book. It’s a great read that will help you concentrate on yourself to better understand your needs. I feel like this book makes you practice Maya Anjelou’s saying of
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”.
It’s truly about how “you” see things, how “you” react to them and how “you” actually have more control than you think.
I personally loved chapter 7 about “Always doing your best”. This agreement guides you in reinforcing the three other agreements. Here is the phrase that spoke to me the most: “… keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next” (p.75-76). Ah-ah moment right there! The pressure to perform the same, if not more, was instantly lifted from my shoulders.
If I’m being honest, it’s the kind of book that I would personally not borrow from anyone of from your local library. It’s a great self-help book to keep as a reference or to re-read when you feel the need.
UnPlug by Suze Yalof Shwartz
Have you ever heard of all the benefits that meditation can have? Have you ever been told that some people actually meditate to get control over chronic pain they are feeling? If not, you may want to look up all the benefits meditation can bring in the below list:
- slow down
- release stress
- decrease anxiety
- relieve pain
- increase focus, clarity & productivity
- tame anger
- sleep better
- be kinder
- feel happier
- feel calm, present & relaxed
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it will cure everything. What I’m actually saying is that, the practice of meditation will be useful with many (if not all) aspects of your life.
This book is a great one to help you understand the basis of meditation and how this practice is truly for everyone. The author goes into the history of meditation, how it came about in her life and how it benefited her. There are also many testimonies of people who were skeptics and that have come around after seeing the benefits of meditation in their lives.
This book contains tips and tricks for different types of people so that you can find the technique or style that works best for you. Towards the end, Suze, the author, even shares different situations where meditation can be used in your everyday life. Many of them only take 1-2 minutes.
She debunks the fact that meditation has to be an exercise where you have to sit still in a quiet place. That is one way, out of so many, of how meditation can be done. If you are a skeptic but yet are curious to know more, this book is for you.
The book not only contains meditation technics but also tips and tricks for you to be able to achieve a sense of calm and to be present and happy in your everyday life.
The Home Edit by Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin
I received this book on my 30th birthday and I was ecstatic! I had been following Clea and Joanna on Instagram for a while and when they announced that they were writing a book, I could not wait to get my hands on it!!!
Their book is absolutely beautiful. It’s divided in colour-coded sections according to rooms in a home. What’s nice about how its divided is that you don’t need to read it page by page. You can actually pick and start reading the section you would like the most help on. Honestly, it’s such a quick read that reading it from cover to cover can be done in a day, easily.
It’s a great reference book for when you want to feel inspired to organize a section of your house and be guided to do so. You could also use this book as a coffee table book for guests to browse through.
Bonus: their book has a few labels provided in the end that you can use in your kitchen.
What seems to have captured the attention of so many people is not only these ladies’ talent to organize so beautifully (with all the colours of the rainbow), but also the credo they came up with and live by: the Low-Bar Lifestyle. It’s basically a list of funny ways to tell you, as a mom or women, that you are already doing your best and that you should give yourself a gold star for that and to not be so hard on yourself. Love it!!!
The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying up by Marie Kondo
This book was a game-changer for me. I had seen a Marie Kondo interview on Ellen Degeneres and didn’t think much of it at the time. Fast forward about 6 months later, I get the idea to search for her book at our local library to start reading it and I was hooked! I couldn’t wait to finish it so that I could start tidying our house.
This self-help book explains the basis of her tidying method and how she came about it. She proves how other processes of tidying and organization usually have to be re-done where as her method, when done correctly, does not need to ever be re-done. Her main principal is that you touch and hold every item, by following a specific category order, and see if it brings you joy or not. That feeling will help you determine what you should keep and what you should toss.
How will you know if something brings you joy? By starting with the first category (clothing) you will learn what your response to joy is and the process will become easier as you go. The fact that the process was hard at first really surprised me… I didn’t think it was going to be hard to know and feel what brought me joy but it was.
What I really appreciate about her method is that you can apply this questioning to anything in your life (things, feelings, people, etc) and help you determine if you really need it or not.
Spark Joy by Marie Kondo
This is Marie Kondo’s second book, following The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying up. If you are the kind of person that just wants to know about the KonMarie method itself and not its history, you may want to get this book instead of the first one.
The book’s chapters follow her method’s category order.
- Clothing
- Books
- Papers
- Komono (miscellaneous)
- Sentimental items
What is really nice about this book is that there are images of how you can fold your items to maximize space yet making everything visible with just one glance. Marie Kondo’s methods mainly implies that you should store as many of your items as possible standing up. For this reason, having a visual guide is very helpful.
I would not say that this book is the same as the first one and that the difference is that it contains images. No, not at all. This one does have some added information (compared to the first one) to address the worries some readers had after reading the first book.
Many had found it hard to stick to the categories and their order. Marie Kondo goes over this concept and explains that it’s more flexible than we think, even though we may think it’s not. Her method caters to everyone which is why I think it’s so brilliantly written.
I’ve loved both of these two books from Marie Kondo and can’t wait to read her book “Joy at Work”. If you are interested, here is a list of all the books she’ written.
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin
This book really got me to pause and think while I was reading. It does not mean it will make you think, but in a way, I hope it will.
At some point in my life, I felt controlled by my thoughts and wanted to be the one and only one in control and I fell like this book really helped me achieve that.
Here are the 13 things mentally strong people DON’T DO:
- Don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves
- Don’t give away your power
- Don’t shy away from change
- Don’t focus on things you can’t control
- Don’t worry about pleasing everyone
- Don’t fear taking calculated risks
- Don’t dwell on the past
- Don’t make the same mistakes over and over
- Don’t resent other people’s success
- Don’t give up after the first failure
- Don’t fear alone time
- Don’t feel the world owes you anything
- Don’t expect immediate results
The author, Amy Morin, is not one to lose time. Right in the introduction of her book, she shares her inspiring story and how she established these 13 reasons to help her get through everything that happened to her. After reading her introduction, you will understand (and possibly agree) that she is the best person to create and test these 13 reasons and write about them.
The book has a chapter for each “thing”. The chapters all have the same format.
- starts with a story/example of a situation from one of her client’s
- a questionnaire to see if this concept/chapter applies to you (I can assure you, even if it doesn’t, you should still read it)
- an explanation of the concept
- the problem with it
- how you can stop that habit
- how you can behave
- troubleshooting and common traps of this “thing”
The paragraph format she uses makes each “thing” easy to understand which subsequently makes it simpler to put in practice in life.
It’s easy to read and is very well written, but its content is heavy. It’s not a light read. All the life examples she uses to explain the “things” she talks about are abstract which makes the reader think and work a lot more mentally to grasp the information. Here is a list of other books she has written that may interest you (and that are on my book wish list).
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
If you haven’t read a book by Elizabeth Gilbert yet, I strongly suggest you do. Her writing is amazing. You almost feel like she is one of your friends talking to you. She has a way of capturing your attention with her writing filled with wisdom, truth and compassion.
This self-help book is about finding your place in this world. She proves, with surprising yet true examples, that if you are open-minded and that you listen to yourself, you will be able to achieve any idea you have. It’s very inspiring and uplifting.
I was initially introduced to this book by a business woman that I’ve been friends with on Facebook. She shared her story and how this book showed her the way to get to where she wanted to be in life and that inspired me to read it.
While reading it, I almost felt like I was in a surreal world. Gilbert really entices you with her approach to see and feel the world around you differently than you did before. If you are open to it, this book will open your mind more than you ever thought it could.
Oldie but goodie
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
If you want to feel inspired to take time for yourself to get to understand who you really are, this book will definitely do that! It’s a true story about a hard life-changing decision that Elizabeth Gilbert had to make at one point in her life. Although it was hard, she quickly realized how beneficial it was for her to do it and live the life she wanted, and was meant to live.
No need to spend money
Don’t ruin yourself financially to buy these self-help books for yourself (unless you want to). You can ask them as gifts or even check at your local library if they have them on hand for you to borrow.
I personally love to keep track of the books I would like to read on my Amazon account. I created a Book Wish List and I add all the books I would like to eventually read or get for myself.
Holding yourself accountable
Borrowing a book from your locally library will maybe encourage you to read it and try to finish it without having to extend your loan.
You can also have a look at the GoodReads app and/or website. Basically, you can create an account and keep track of the books you read and what pages you are at which will hold you accountable. You can also share this information with friends that also have a GoodReads account. With an account, you have access to different articles about book awards, new book releases and much more. Come to think of it, this app would be great for a Book Club.
I strongly believe that if you are truly open-minded that you will absorb and remember the information that is beneficial to you at the time. Self-help books can only help you if you are open to being helped. If you are, you will be attracted to the books that you need, I guarantee.
Do you have any self-help books that you swear by because they’ve helped you through a tough phase of your life? Let me know in the comments below.
